You’re the inspiration

I began my fitness journey on March 9, 2014. I’ve done the “diet thing” many times before. As a 47 year old adult female who has been overweight for most of her life, I have mastered the art of the excuse. I can justify nearly any unhealthy food or activity. I can procrastinate with the best of them, and the person it has harmed the most is me.

This time, it is different. My husband says he, too, can sense that this time, it is different. This time, it is about changing my life, and not just about doing what I need to do to make the numbers on the scale come down.

The difference, this time, is inspiration. With Robin Williams’ tragic death in the media this week, I will share that depression played a major role in this change. I was struggling with some issues that had me feeling awfully bleak. I was still struggling with my father’s death in early 2013. I was struggling with feelings of inadequacy as a partner, a mother, and a lawyer. I looked in the mirror and struggled with the signs of age and bad health. I was tired of the struggle. I was so unhappy that I lost sight of the many things that make my life so beautiful.

A series of coincidences, or perhaps providence, led me to step on the treadmill instead of eating a package of gluten free cookies or a chocolate bar. I have a group of people in my life who I refer to as my “invisible friends.” Some are ladies I met on or through an online “mom” forum I was active in for many years. Others are people who I met through DDP Yoga forums, or other lawyers I reached out to on Facebook. These people have played an important role in my journey.

When I posted in a “secret group” on Facebook that I was feeling very depressed, a mom suggested I join “Moms Run This Town.” I poo-poo’ed the idea. I never envisioned myself a runner. Soon, another invisible friend suggested we train online together for a 5k. Running took over my facebook feed as friends, both in real life and my “invisible” network, began sharing running posts.

One night, hurt, angry and sad, I brushed off the thick layer of dust that had settled on the treadmill, and I took that first step. I came back the next night, and the next. As is typically the case, life began to get in the way. One night as I was browsing Facebook instead of getting some exercise, I saw a conversation between two “invisible friends.” One asked the other how to ensure success at getting in shape. His response was a photo that said, “Commit.”

I found my inspiration in that graphic. I think of it daily. To succeed at something – anything, you must commit to succeeding. I found inspiration in the “cheers” that my running app sent my way when my friends “liked” my status that said I was on a run. Each cheer inspired me to take another step – to go another 1/10th mile.

I wasn’t sure how my friends would react. I worried that I would annoy them with my fitness posts. I kept posting anyway.

Soon, I began receiving messages. “I wanted you to know that you inspired me to get back to the gym.” “You inspired me to get moving.” “Thank you for sharing your journey. I wanted you to know that I joined a gym.”

I thanked each of them for reaching out, but on the inside, I was saying, “I’m not an inspiration. I’m a morbidly obese person whose bad decisions led to this state.” “I’m not worthy of being your inspiration.”

I started to craft a response that said I’m not someone to emulate- that I have too many weaknesses, I’m too flawed…” At that moment, I realized that inspiration is a very individual, personal experience. What right do I have to say that I’m not an inspiration? If someone can find inspiration in my words, my actions, or my photos, what right do I have to tell them they are wrong? In that moment I simply thanked God for the opportunity to inspire others.

I don’t write to inspire. I write because I really enjoy writing. If, however, it inspires you to look at a sunset, to buy a coffee for someone, to run a half marathon, to clean out your closet, or to bake a gluten free cake, that is a gift to me.

Find inspiration everywhere. The world is an awesome place. If someone inspires you, let them know. Don’t be afraid to share your accomplishments, no matter how insignificant you may feel they are, because someone somewhere may fin the inspiration to improve themselves through your example.

Every single day, you inspire someone to feel happy, or sad, or angry through your words and actions. Being mindful of that fact, choose to inspire others with love and kindness, with your positive energy and your lust for life.

You’re the inspiration.

The monster in the closet

Posted by BecomingBetty

I fought a hard battle over the weekend. I dealt with the monster in the closet. I know all about the monster in the closet. In my case, the “monster” is how to dealt with clothing that is too big. As of this morning, I have lost 56 lbs. As a result, my closet was packed full of clothing in sizes that just don’t work any more.

Losing weight and becoming healthier is a good thing – don’t get me wrong. However, it brings with it a problem: when it’s too big to alter, do I donate it or store it away “just in case.”

I’ve lost over 100 lbs twice in my life. I’m working on the third round. Both previous times, I threw out the “fat” clothing and then had to do the “walk of shame” back to Lane Bryant and Coldwater Creek to repurchase the stretchy pants that fit.

I purged- oh how I purged. I got rid of the ugly size 26 coral suit that I never even wore once. Gone are the shapeless shifts and the threadbare things that I kept wearing because I refused to buy anything else in” that size.”

By the time I finished, the “keep” pile was smaller than the purge pile. When it was all hung up, there was actually room to slide the hangers on the bar.

While there was a big part of me that was celebrating every article that had outgrown its usefulness, I must admit that I couldn’t bear to part with a number of my “fat clothes” items. My favorite “comfort clothes,” the ones that made me feel pretty even at 322 lbs. They are hanging in the basement. In time, I will have the confidence to make them go away forever. Now, instead of a monster in the closet, the “monster” is in the armoire. I haven’t touched that one yet. When is a t-shirt “too big,” anyway?

Banishing the “Yes But[t]”

Posted by BecomingBetty

Perhaps the biggest health hurdle of all to conquer is the dreaded “Yes But[t].” (YB)

The YB strips us of our pride, depletes our confidence, and worst of all gives us excuses to give up.

I thought I had all but banished the YB yesterday when it reared its ugly head. I started running in March of this year. I don’t move fast, but I move. Some weeks I move more than others. I moved a lot of miles a couple of moths ago. Then, life got busy and I hurt my knee. I still run, but I’ve been doing more other exercises, like walking, weight training and even some dancing.

A friend who follows my progress on Nike+ congratulated me for running 10 miles this month. 10 miles is a long way for someone who couldn’t run 1/10th mile without gasping for air and holding onto the treadmill a couple of months ago. I should have been shaking my booty and dancing, “10 miles, baby, 10 miles! Hear me roar!” Instead, I got a case of the YB.

Yes, but my personal trainer app says that I should have done 17 by now.

Yes, but in May I did 50 miles, and I’m way behind that pace.

You get the idea. Instead of celebrating my achievement (10 miles, WOOT!), I posted a big WOOT online, and then mentally berated myself for not running 17 miles, for not losing weight faster, for having a stride that’s too short, and for eating a gluten free pop tart for a snack. The YB got me,

The YB also helps us justify choices (like that pop tart). Yes, but I had a salad for lunch. Yes, but I ran an extra 1/10th mile.

I’m giving my Yes, But[t] the heave ho. I encourage you to do the same. When someone remarks on your achievement, say, “Thank you, I’m so proud.” When the YB creeps in as an excuse, ask yourself if what you want is worth delaying your goal. If it is, then enjoy it and own it.